broken-gurl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- where is the love? I hate shopping more than I hate a lot of things. I hate shopping for clothes more than I hate shopping for most things. Today I had to buy clothes as I realized I have not gone clothes shopping in like... ages... and seriously my wardrobe was getting worn out. Gah, it's just a real beating on the self-esteem that I did not enjoy taking. I am really dissatisfied with my life right now which makes no sense to me. I am getting involved in all these things that should be good for me but I just don't care. I want to tell everyone to just fuck off and let me destroy myself. I don't want to be normal right now. Who am I if I'm normal? I don't like having these thoughts. I need to get in to see Dr. Vogt soon and I don't really want to. Everyone is always expecting progress and sometimes I just can't fucking give them what they want. I hate not being good enough. I'm never good enough. What is good enough anyway? Who defines what is good enough? I just get sick of sitting around mindlessly staring at a blank computer screen since I rarely get IMs or e-mails anymore and waiting for something to change. I know I have to stop wallowing in my pile of shit but it's just so fucking hard. Today some girls from school saw something they shouldn't have, haha, I really hope they don't say anything. Really. Not cool at all. I feel like such a reject. Like I've rejected myself. Blah. This entry is sucky. Enough. 11:29 p.m. - 2004-03-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||