broken-gurl's Diaryland Diary

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fed up with my destiny and this place of no return

This morning my dad and I went out and walked the picket lines at QA for awhile. Everyone cheered and took pictures when we showed up. From what I heard from staff there, it looks like the strike will continue until at least Friday which really sucks. I am getting really stressed out and unhappy about the direction that my life is heading into. I talked with Sandi yesterday, an old family friend, about depression and Eric Martin and medication and psychiatrists and everything in between and I just feel scared. I'm scared and I don't know what to do with my fear besides cut.

As of today I have not cut myself in four weeks. Good for me, I guess. All I can think about is the fucking razor and how perfect it would be to cut hundreds of cuts all over my body, gaping wounds... *shudders*... anyways...

What to do, what to do. This sucks. A lot. I could die right now, the timing is perfect. Alone for a few hours... everyone thinks I'm fine... it would be so easy.

STOP IT. BAD. FAULTY THOUGHTS. This needs to not happen so much.

-xxx-

11:43 a.m. - 2004-04-27

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