broken-gurl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- open fire Dear Diaryland, Your error messages and servers are a piece of shit. Love, Sara. I'm so sick of that stupid message when I try to add an entry. Today I am feeling pissed off. Hah, can you tell? I just want everyone to fuck off and stop making things complicated for me. I have enough shit to deal with right now. I went to the doctor today about my breathing & he informed me that I was dizzy because I don't have enough carbon dioxide in my blood, but he didn't really know why I was having trouble breathing as my chest is clear. Weird. Anyway, I have to go back if I start coughing or wheezing too much. I also went to the dentist about my toothaches. He checked it out & said that the enamel was worn down & that I had a lot of tension in my jaw. He said it was most likely that the reason I wake up with headaches so much is that I've been grinding my teeth at night so I have to get this $300 night guard to stop it. Blah, lousy. I went shopping with my dad today, he bought me $200 worth of really nice clothes, stuff I can wear to job interviews. & he was going to buy me some books as well but I couldn't find any I wanted to read. I feel like shit right now. I just don't know what to do, it's like all these decisions are beyond me & I can't think straight. I'm falling into the "negative thought patterns" & I'm finding myself thinking about suicide again. Everyone thinks I'm fine, no one would see it coming, meaning I could get away with doing whatever I need to do to get ready. Bleh, I shouldn't even go there. It's so easy for me to fall into it though, and so hard to pull myself out. I'll probably just end up cutting the fuck out of myself. Whatever. *sighs* 6:35 p.m. - 2004-06-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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