broken-gurl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- a hero lies in you Here I sit, another night, dreaming of ending my pathetic fucking excuse for a life. I am filled with so much hate and regret and I can't for the life of me pull out the goodness that I know I must have felt at some point or other. I did not cut myself last night, nor have I so far tonight. I know I will though, and probably to the point or past of needing stitches. But I'm not going to go. Because hospitals can stay the fuck out of my life. Forever. I'm finished with them. I find myself doubting every decision that I've ever made, and knowing that most of them were probably the wrong one. Of course. But you can't go back in time to fix them, can you? Sometimes, it's stupid, but I feel like I should be able to go back in time and fix all my stupid mistakes. & I get angry at myself for not being able to do so. Am I sick? Maybe. I bought the book 'Girl, Interrupted' today. I've finished reading it already. It was fucking amazing, & I know it is one of those books I will read over and over again and get something different from every time. My head aches and my eyes are tired and it won't stop. I don't even care. I'll just fucking destroy myself. It doesn't matter anyways. -xxx- 10:55 p.m. - 2004-06-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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